I’m gonna get you after I finish this cigarette! I swear it!
Edit (6/28/2020): Some minor spelling (Prayvaganza?) and spacing issues have been corrected.
As promised, this article tackles the next few episodes of Season 3 of The Handmaid’s Tale. In the event that you haven’t seen my assessment of the first three episodes, you should click here and read that article first so that you can fully understand what I mean in this particular segment. After all, it’s not a good idea to start a story in the middle!
Without further ado, let’s dispense with the usual and head back into the laughable hellhole known as Gilead.
Episode 4 – Wait, What?
June should be happy. This isn’t going to blow up in her face in a stupid way later, right?
“God Bless The Child” has a few sweet moments in it, but it does next to nothing to advance the story and is kneecapped by massive contradictions.
The episode opens with June as she makes her way to a Prayvaganza for the children who were recently born in the district. If we put aside the implication that this system is actually working, June’s attitude is absolutely baffling when one considers that she wanted to stare into the camera and muse about how she’s going to kill everyone in the last episode. Now, she needs allies with power for reasons, so she starts her search with a group of people that might be the most loyal to the ruling regime.
That makes perfect sense, right?
Anyway, June tries to convince Fred and Serena to exercise their influence behind the scenes. However, her persuasion session is cut short by another one of Jeanine’s little freak-outs. For some reason, Jeanine was allowed to get a little too attached to her kid, so she makes a scene to such an extent that Aunt Lydia starts beating the hell out of her. Obviously, June stops the beating by shielding Jeanine with her body in front of all of the Commanders, which could be seen as a colossal act of defiance.
After all, it’s not like they haven’t seen an Aunt “correct” a Handmaid before, right?
To top it all off, Aunt Lydia appears to feel quite a bit of shame over her cruelty, which makes no fucking sense whatsoever. She’s been beating, zapping, and torturing women for years, but she suddenly feels bad about it now?! How did that happen? Did she read a script somewhere?
On the Canadian front, Emily meets up with her wife, reads to her kid, and tries to live a normal life in a nation where everyone is shopping and going to work as if nothing is different. Apparently, she, Luke, and Moira also got fucking stupid and put Nichole in the middle of a public protest before baptizing her.
Why? Because the plot requires it! Gilead needs to pick out a baby on the Internet!
Episode 5 – Please Stop This Thing.
A little bit of O-T Fagbenle goes a long way, but it’s not enough.
“Unknown Caller” simplifies things quite a bit, but that doesn’t mean that it’s good.
In a departure from the other episodes, this one almost exclusively follows Serena and Luke. In the aftermath of the discovery of Nichole’s location in Canada, the Waterfords confer with their regional council. As they look over obviously redacted birth documents that are in the damn shot, they discover that Gilead wants to get the child back.
The Waterfords are a little bit split between their previous decision to let her go and their pseudo-fascist duties, but Serena wants to see her. Naturally, they ask June to call Luke and arrange a meeting in Canada, which is quite strange if you think about it for five seconds. Did he keep his old phone? If he didn’t, how did they know his number?
Of course, Luke is suspicious of this bargain, so he states that he will only allow Serena to see Nichole. However, that doesn’t really make sense because Serena was banned from Canada in “Smart Power.” So, how does that work? Did the Canadians just forget about the fact that she’d probably be on a no-entry list? And by the way, how did Mark the CIA Guy know about this? Did he read a script, too?
Argh.
Oh, Rita and June also slipped a few things into Serena’s luggage, but we’ll get to that later.
Serena confronts Luke in the airport terminal. At first, Luke gives her the old “fuck you” like the boss that he is, but he allows her to hold Nichole after his initial suspicions are put to rest. Serena gives Luke a few gifts, rejects Mark’s offer to jet off to Honolulu, and has an emotional breakdown in her changing room.
And just so that we’re all up to speed, Mark slips a satellite phone to Serena at some point for emergencies, but what the fuck is that actually going to do if she’s in the middle of a totalitarian state? Are there CIA operatives all over the place? If so, what the hell are they doing and why aren’t we watching that?!
One sweet moment occurs when Luke listens to his wife’s loving but mournful message on a cassette tape, but it’s immediately overridden by the “surprise” twist ending. Apparently, Serena and Fred want their rape baby back… even though the Canadians banned them from their country because of all of the tortured Handmaid letters!
Are we just going to forget about that?
Episode 6 – Why Is It Still Called Washington?!
Praise Allah and pass the popcorn!
In a natural follow-up to the previous two episodes, “Household” engages in quite a bit of worldbuilding as the focus shifts to Washington, D.C. With that said, it’s bad worldbuilding.
For one thing, why would Gilead call the city by its old name while destroying its monuments and turning the Washington Monument into a giant cross? It’s rather contradictory to honor the name of the pseudo-religious man who founded the nation that Gilead destroyed!
Anyway, most of the episode follows June, Fred, and Serena as they room with High Commander Winslow (Christopher Meloni). Apparently, the little parental spat caught the attention of Gilead’s highest echelons, so they want to appeal to the Canadians via the Swiss. Supposedly, the Canadians want the Swiss to interview everyone involved in the controversy.
Okay, how the hell does that work? The Canadians aligned with the United States, expelled Gilead’s diplomats, and supposedly conducted military exercises with the British along the border, but they want to open a diplomatic channel because a totalitarian regime that represents a clear and present danger to their national security wants their rape baby back?!
WHY AREN’T THEY INTERVENING YET?!
Okay, there’s actually a reason, but it’s an atrocious one. Apparently, Gilead is a military powerhouse that no one wants to antagonize, even though they don’t appear to have a nuclear deterrent or the Pacific Fleet in their possession. Then again, that’s what happens when storytelling is thrown out the window in favor of emotional pornography.
To make matters worse, the Swiss want to continue the dialogue between Gilead and Canada because they just don’t trust Nick, which makes no fucking sense whatsoever. If one doesn’t believe that a new Field Commander can be trusted because he fought against the United States, why would one trust a bunch of Commanders and High Commanders who also fought against the United States?
Oh, the Handmaids in Washington all had their mouths sown shut with rings, too. Let’s just throw that out there in a direct contradiction to reality. After all, it’s not like authoritarian regimes have ever encouraged women to read propaganda or create stories that make the ruling regime look good.
Oh hi, Leni Riefenstahl and Tatyana Lioznova. I didn’t see you there!
Episode 7 – I’ll Take You To School.
STOP STARING AT US! DAMN IT!
“Under His Eye” marks a departure from the previous episodes by focusing almost all of its attention on Canada. June is shuffled off to a side adventure about visiting her daughter’s school, but she fails and has to execute a Martha because annoying Ofmatthew reported her to Aunt Lydia.
Boy, Lydia must have gotten over her shame of shocking women in the Bloody Mary and seeing sown mouths right quick! It’s almost as if these characters have moods that are entirely dependent on whatever the writers need at any given moment!
On the Canadian front, the Swiss interview Emily in an attempt to figure out her story. They know about most of the crimes that Emily committed over the course of her time in Gilead, but Sylvia defends not-Rory by pointing out the obvious tyranny of the regime. It’s supposed to be a touching scene, but it gets stupid when one considers what happens next.
In a conversation with High Commander Winslow, Fred Waterford learns that Canada is considering a general extradition treaty with Gilead.
Why?! The entire world is aware of the crimes of the regime, the former U.S. is a war zone, and it’s rather easy to assume that a huge portion of the refugees had to commit at least one felony in order to escape to Canada. The Canadians have no good reason to consider this treaty except that the plot needs them to do so.
Meanwhile, Emily and Moira protest the decisions of the Canadian Immigration Minister, who happens to be the biggest idiot on this side of the Great Lakes. According to the man, June supposedly gave up her right to Nichole, even though she is an unwilling participant in a system where she is not allowed to have parental rights. One would think that a government official would be able to see the aforementioned logic, but I guess not.
Oh, Emily and Moira get themselves arrested, too. How much do you want to bet that they’re going to be deported for reasons?
Conclusion.
This is emotional pornography.
The second portion of Season 3 does a slightly better job of telling focused stories, but the show’s newfound clarity is brought down by stupid plot holes and contradictions in characterization. June flip-flops at the drop of a hat, the diplomatic crisis is laughably written, and the competent imagery seems silly when one thinks about the lore and worldbuilding for more than five seconds. I know that I probably said this before, but a truly satisfying television show should not force a viewer to ask so many basic questions in such a short amount of time.
7 down, 6 to go!
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