Gold is a tricky business.
It has often been said that Goldfinger is the quintessential film of Sean Connery’s tenure. While it is certainly true that the film turned the Bond franchise into a global phenomenon, I think that it’s important to shake off the nostalgia goggles and look at it with a keen eye. With that in mind, allow me to ask a question.
Does this film stand up as something that is worthy of 007?
No. In fact, it may be one of the worst films of the classic era.
Where Are The Characters?
Bond’s captors always provide the essentials.
As always, let’s examine the cast and see how they shape up with the passage of time.
Many critics like to state that Goldfinger is one of Sean Connery’s best, but I absolutely disagree. In the previous two films, Connery’s 007 investigated his enemies, fought his way through some good action scenes, and managed to act like the perfect assassin. This film throws out all of that setup and gives him virtually nothing to do other than sleep with the enemy and throw out some funny one-liners. Connery’s charm keeps the film from being completely unwatchable, but his performance is weighed down by the dull gaps in the script.
Of course, no Bond film would be complete without the girls, but these ladies have no real character development whatsoever. Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton) likes to help Goldfinger cheat at cards, but Bond seduces her and she dies. Tilly Masterson (Tania Mallet) follows things up with what would have been an interesting plot to kill Goldfinger, but she dies. Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) stands up well as Goldfinger’s pilot, but her ridiculously funny name can’t make up for the fact that she doesn’t really have a character.
Unfortunately, Bond’s enemies are just kind of there as well. Auric Goldfinger (Gert Fröbe) has a few memorable lines (“No, Mister Bond. I expect you to die!”), but he’s really just there so that Mike Myers can parody him in 38 years. In a similar vein, Oddjob (Harold Sakata) knows how to throw a hat and look menacing, but he’s not as good as Red Grant.
And last but not least, all of the other supporting characters in the CIA and MI6 fit into their respective molds perfectly, but that’s not saying much.
The Plot Is Far Too Cheesy For Its Own Good.
Why are they just standing there?
Almost all of the Bond films tend to balance action, sex, and pinches of dry humor. While the formula may change a little bit with each passing film, the filmmakers often keep themselves from using one of the three elements as a crutch to compensate for the other two. After the relative balancing acts of Dr. No and From Russia With Love, one would think that the producers would stay the course and deliver another interesting spy thriller.
Instead, they decided to throw out almost all of the action in favor of far too much sex and comedy.
The film opens in Miami. 007 is on vacation there, so M (Bernard Lee) orders him to spy on the titular villain. Of course, Bond instantly blows his cover, sleeps with Jill, and gets knocked out by Oddjob. When our hero wakes up, he returns to the UK for a meeting with a Bank of England official by the name of Colonel Smithers (Richard Vernon). The Bank thinks that MI6 should take a look at Goldfinger’s smuggling operations… because gold trafficking is supposedly one of the most important interests of a spy agency.
And yes, I know that the gold standard was a thing back then. The film does a poor job of connecting it with the actual plot until Goldfinger actually presents his plan.
Naturally, Goldfinger just so happens to be in Kent, so Bond tries to screw him out of a few thousand pounds during a round of golf. The entire sequence is incredibly boring and serves no real purpose outside of agitating the villain. That time could have been used to develop any of the characters in a meaningful way, but it wasn’t.
Anyway, Bond follows the villains to Switzerland, where he discovers that Goldfinger is inefficiently smuggling gold in his car while he works on something called Operation Grand Slam. Our favorite secret agent tries to learn more, but the sudden intervention (and death) of Tilly Masterson leads to his capture.
So, the plot only really starts about halfway through the movie, but the sudden move to Fort Knox slows the story down to a crawl. Bond learns that Goldfinger wants to detonate a Chinese-supplied dirty bomb inside the United States Gold Depository. Apparently, the Chinese and Goldfinger see this plan as a good thing, even though it would backfire spectacularly on them. More on that in the next section!
Apparently, Bond’s sheer sexual prowess is enough to convince Pussy Galore to turn against her employer, so Bond manages to kill Oddjob, disarm the bomb, kill Goldfinger, and save the day. Hooray!
The Problem With Goldfinger’s Plan.
I’m not sure if Goldfinger has thought this one through.
Much like the previous two films, Goldfinger tries to center its plot on a real world issue while throwing in some fantasy elements. However, the screenwriters forgot about the implications of Goldfinger’s plan. The man smuggled a Chinese radiological device onto U.S. soil in order to cause catastrophic damage to the U.S. economy. How would that actually look in a plausible ending?
At best, the CIA and MI6 would try to cover it up and sweep everything under the rug. It’s entirely possible that our heroes would be able to get away with it, but Sino-American diplomacy would never happen.
At worst, the plot would lead to a nuclear exchange. After all, the American and British governments just implicated the Chinese in an attempted terrorist attack. How would that look in the middle of the most dangerous period of the Cold War? Would the Soviets wash their hands and look the other way as B-52s turn the Chinese coastline into a radioactive wasteland?
I guess that we’re not supposed to think about that. Then again, gold isn’t going to be worth much in a post-apocalyptic nightmare.
Conclusion.
Goldfinger did it first, but Quantum of Solace did it better.
Goldfinger is not as good as everyone makes it out to be. While the film can be counted as the first blockbuster in the franchise, it hasn’t really held up to the passage of time. The characters are non-existent, the story is a bore, and the writers didn’t think about the broader implications of the plot. If you love this series or spies in general, you’ll be better off if you skip this one.
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