I’m looking forward to this one, but not the ones below.
The upcoming release of Assassin’s Creed brought video game movies back into the public spotlight. While I am not opposed to the concept of adapting video games, I’m going to take a look at some of the material that’s out there in the hopes of pointing out why the genre may not have met with success just yet. For me, it is usually a combination of factors ranging from casting to the script to the source material.
However, there are some stories that may never get off the ground in the first place. Allow me to explain why.
1. Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell
I know what you’re thinking, let me explain…
The first four games in the Splinter Cell franchise are among the elite echelons of the stealth gaming genre. And when you look at the concept of making it into a film, it seems like all the right elements are in place. Sam Fisher is a great character with a pitch-black sense of humor, most of the side characters are well rounded, and the plots are intriguing remixes of your traditional spy film that are often based around information warfare.
So why would this not translate well to the screen?
The entire premise of the early titles in this series is that the player is rewarded for completing objectives not only by avoiding casualties, but often by not even being seen. If one considers that a traditional spy movie often relies on gun battles, it is going to be very hard for Tom Hardy and the production team to create a suspenseful movie. And there is a very simple reason why.
If players screw up in the game, it feels organic because we did something wrong. If Sam Fisher is detected or attacks someone in the film, everyone knows it’s because it was choreographed in the plot.
A violation of these concepts could diminish the enthusiasm of the core fan base, which could end up stalling out the film’s word of mouth campaign.
Next!
2. Half-Life
Silence is not golden.
Again, it seems like all of the elements are in place for a good movie here. An alien invasion from an alternate dimension, the mystery behind the G-Man, and a whole bunch of slick firefights. So why did this make it on my list?
Among other things, the protagonist is not a character.
Gordon Freeman doesn’t exist as a separate flesh-and-blood entity with his own personality and thoughts. While this was a conscious design decision that allowed players to put themselves in Freeman’s boots, you cannot pull that off in a feature film no matter how hard you try. Therefore, the screenwriters would have to make up his personality from scratch.
It’s not an impossible task, but how exactly do you make someone likable based on little more than sparse clues and that he’s getting shot at by aliens or government operatives?
3. Command & Conquer (The Tiberium Series)
Two visions, little purpose.
I’ll be the first to admit that the Command & Conquer series is slathered in so much cheese that it’ll give you a coronary before you turn 30. However, it does have key elements that make for a better story than most games. Tiberium is a benefit and threat to life on Earth, which leads to the formation of a quasi-religious terrorist group around it called the Brotherhood of Nod. On the opposing side, the world establishes a Global Defense Initiative to stop these cultists and their leader, Kane.
So, what’s the problem here?
The problem lies in the motives of the Brotherhood and what they are doing over the course of four world wars. At first, Kane is obsessed with transforming Earth with the unchecked spread of Tiberium, but then he just wants to leave and go to… wherever it is he wants to go. I can only imagine the sheer confusion in the audience if they went to see a movie based on this franchise.
4. Call of Duty
Straight Outta Ideas.
This one is a bit more obvious than the others. The problem with Call of Duty as a game is that it has been creatively stagnant since Black Ops. The problem with a movie based on this franchise would be that there is nothing to differentiate it from a Michael Bay-style junk food action movie. All you really have are a bunch of soldiers working to defeat absurdist techno-thriller scenarios that would have Tom Clancy break-dancing in his grave.
Need I remind you of their previous games that had the Russians gaining a beachhead in New York City while also invading Europe? Or how about when South America united and somehow found the means to invade through Mexico? What about that time when they turned Kevin Spacey into Snidely Whiplash and had a PMC strike out at the world?
It’s not just that Call of Duty sucks. It’s that it constantly reaches for a whole new level of suck with each passing game.
5. Gears of War
No.
The Gears of War franchise shares many of the same faults as other action shooters with chest-high walls. The characters don’t make you care, the story is generic, and the villains, while somewhat creative, don’t really inspire the same kind of fear as the iconic badasses of yore. To make matters worse, I couldn’t even tell you the plot of the original game even as I write this.
The only thing I remember off the top of my head is that Marcus Fenix is the lead soldier in the game. He was tasked with defeated the Locust Horde, and all he did while progressing through the story was grunt, shoot, and curse a lot. Marcus and his team may have chainsaw rifles at their disposal, but that doesn’t compensate for the fact that they don’t have character.
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