Here we go again.
Before we get down to the details, I have to admit that I was rather conflicted about Batwoman. At first, I wondered why it attracted such an incredible backlash on the Internet. After all, the creative team did an okay job with the introduction of the title character in last year’s “Elseworlds” crossover, and it seemed like the show was going for a darker and not-so-preachy edge when compared to something like Supergirl. How bad could it really be?
Needless to say, my initial perception of the show completely collapsed after the first three episodes. Batwoman is propaganda in the guise of entertainment, an insult to the storied legacy of DC Comics, and riddled with so many holes that heads will probably spin.
This Cast Can’t Act Very Well.
Before you read this section, I want you to note the facial expressions in this shot.
If you’re looking for a show where a guest star like Shantel VanSanten can come in and completely electrify everything, you’re better off watching something else.
Ruby Rose headlines the show as the titular superheroine. At first, I thought that she’d be okay, but it has become incredibly clear that she can’t act her way out of a paper bag. Her entire performance in and out of costume is painfully one-dimensional at the best of times, even though this is supposed to be a gritty and realistic show like Arrow. To put it simply, if the title character of the show doesn’t seem to care about what’s going on when she’s not getting laid, why should the audience?
On the other hand, Rachael Skarsten seems to be having a blast as Alice. While everyone else appears to be barely alive, she plays a super-sadistic, psycho bitch with a certain amount of gusto! Unfortunately, her otherwise excellent work is hampered by goofy writing that appears to set up easy avenues of escape. More on that later!
Sadly, the rest of the main cast is spectacularly forgettable, which is a surprise when one considers the nature of the Arrowverse outside of the romance of the season. In Batwoman, there’s no room for a bro like John Diggle or a sugary-sweet woman like Caitlin Snow. Instead, we’re stuck with that guy who’s the son of the guy you know (Camrus Johnson), a broken-hearted ex who is still in the closet in the current year (Meagan Tandy), the husband of said ex (Greyston Holt), the dad (Dougray Scott), and the step-sister who’s barely there (Nicole Kang).
Woohoo.
The Plot Is Stupid.
I’m not going to fault the show for hiding a Batcave under the Wayne Enterprises building. With that said, I will fault it for everything else!
For some reason, the plot of Batwoman appears to hinge on three questions:
- Why did Bruce Wayne/Batman seemingly abandon Gotham City?
- Can Kate stop Alice?
- Will Kate get back together with her ex?
For those of you who are not in the know, the first two plot points are a part of the basic outline of a superhero story, whereas the third is wholly dependent upon whether or not the audience actually gives a damn about the acting. At first glance, this show might be worthwhile… except that the first two plot points could have easily been resolved in the first three episodes!
The mystery behind Batman’s disappearance could have been interesting in the hands of better writers, but Caroline Dries and the gang threw the game for no good reason. We almost immediately find out that Fox has a means of contacting Bruce, which turns Kate’s framing letters into an exercise in utter pointlessness. After all, why would she need to talk to herself when she could just get advice from the OG badass through Luke Fox?
Now that I think of it, why would Batman allegedly abandon his city anyway? Did he read a script somewhere?
On a far dumber note, Kate/Batwoman could have already stopped Alice and shipped her off to a place like Arkham Asylum, but she didn’t because she’s either stupid or evil. Apparently, she thinks that cornering a known killer and telling her to not kill anyone for 24 hours is just a fine and dandy way to superhero! After all, it’s not like fictitious murderers rely on their impulses.
Oh, what’s that? She killed again?! On top of that, Kate had her cornered AGAIN and didn’t even make an attempt to capture her?!
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure that Barry, Oliver, and even Kara would’ve been competent enough to throw them into a place like STAR Labs.
But Wait, There’s More!
How did Elliot know about the railgun anyway?
In order to get a full understanding of the awfulness of this show, it’s important to look at the segments where the writing team’s cringe-worthy propaganda shines through and makes the characters look like idiots. To get a good sense of what I’m getting at, let’s consider the episode “Down Down Down.”
Most of that episode hinges on the introduction of Thomas Elliot, who is supposedly a childhood friend and current business rival of Bruce Wayne. If a viewer turns off his or her brain, the episode might seem fine. However, it quickly flies off the rails when it is revealed that Thomas’ goons breached Wayne Enterprises and stole a railgun that was invented by Bruce to penetrate the Batsuit.
I have questions!
- Why would Batman develop a dangerous weapon that could kill him or blow through a crowd when he has a pathological aversion to firearms?
- Why would he leave that weapon in a poorly-defended vault in the middle of the city? Couldn’t he just hide it in the Batcave or give it to, say, Alfred?
- Why would he also develop an EMP countermeasure that effectively renders the weapon useless?
This version of Bruce Wayne/Batman appears to have been deliberately or accidentally turned into a moron by the writers. Neither possibility inspires any sort of confidence.
Conclusion.
At the very least, Gotham will know that this stupidity is a woman’s fault.
If you’re an Arrowverse fan, a casual watcher, or just a newcomer, you probably won’t get anything out of Batwoman. The acting is mostly awful, the overarching story is an incoherent catastrophe, and plot points that might have been interesting in more competent hands completely collapse after five seconds of thought. Most people don’t ask for much from their entertainment, but most of what’s out there has got to be better than this.
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