This show is so ridiculous that I wouldn’t be surprised if aliens showed up in the finale.
When a show turns into a success, it’s a good bet that a spin-off will not be that far away. Sure enough, Fox followed up on the development of the decent-to-great 9-1-1 with a sister show that is set in Austin, Texas. I like the original, so I tuned in with the expectation of a little bit more of the same with some different characters at the helm. After all, Bobby, Buck, Maddie, Athena, Howie, and Eddie are fun to be around, so I don’t see how the writers could possibly screw this up!
Yeah, they completely screwed it up.
This show is so astoundingly awful that I wasn’t sure where I should even start with it, so let’s dispense with the usual and try to ponder how Rob Lowe, Liv Tyler, and Natacha Karam could have wound up chest-deep in shit.
The Format Is Very Much The Same.
Okay, one probably wouldn’t see this in LA. Then again, one probably wouldn’t see it in Austin either.
First, we should consider the set-up. The format of 9-1-1: Lone Star is virtually identical to that of its long-established predecessor. Most of the time, the episodes deal with three separate stories that are sandwiched by bits and pieces of the characters’ personal lives. Upon first glance, more than a few of the individual stories are fairly interesting, but the only real difference to be had is a stereotypically Texas-based coat of paint.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just fun to notice until it goes completely off the rails.
As a case in point, consider the corn silo case in “Texas Proud.” Much to my surprise, I found out this particular subplot is fairly accurate after about ten minutes of research, which leaps over the low bar that most shows smack their heads into right at the start. Sure, a few people might question why the participants suffered no apparent injuries, but the incident is so short-lived that one can easily chalk it up to a lack of time.
On the other hand, the show’s writers don’t exactly know how they want to portray Texas. While much of the state is deeply conservative, 9-1-1: Lone Star is set in the flamingly liberal enclave of Austin. For some reason, the writers can’t figure out whether they want to portray the city as hickish or forward-thinking, which is a bit of a distraction from the story and ultimately leads to a TON of hypocrisy. More on that later!
And Then, The Cracks Start To Show.
I don’t actually believe that I can contact my dead sister… but I want to contact my dead sister.
Okay, the cases are decent. What about the characterization?
Unfortunately, the show starts to skid into a cliff when it reaches for levels of wokeness that shouldn’t even be possible. The bullshit detector in my head should’ve seen it coming from the start, but the nonsense became too difficult to ignore starting with “Texas Proud.”
In the middle of the corn silo call, Marjan (Natacha Karam) falls in, and the rest of the team has to cut the whole thing open. She tumbles out of it and her hijab falls off in sight of the television cameras. As a consequence of that, the audience is treated to an embarrassing rant about how Islam is totally normal and the hijab is akin to Superman’s cape. A little while later, the show completely contradicts its own messaging when a gaggle of Muslim women effectively tell her to get the hell out of their mosque because she’s a slut.
I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to laugh at that, but laugh I did!
Indeed, the writers have a serious problem with the development of any kind of personal belief system. There is a cursory example in “Yee-Haw” where Michelle (Liv Tyler) wants to try out Latin American shamanism (also known as bullshit) even though she doesn’t really believe in it, but the juiciest morsel of absurdity can be found in “Act of God.”
Apparently, Judd (Jim Parrack) turned into an atheist after an explosion killed his entire station in the pilot. Under normal circumstances, this would be an interesting recipe for drama because a loss like that can cause profound changes. However, the writers decide to reverse course by the end of the episode for reasons, which makes it rather apparent that they have nothing to say on the matter.
Then again, that might be a good thing because…
It Gets Worse. Way Worse.
Mateo is not a character. He’s a walking lecture about DREAMers.
If the inconsistent characterization marks the skid toward the cliff, an episode like “Studs” has to mark the point where the car breaks the safety barrier, careens into the chasm, and bursts into flames.
In a strange bit of on-the-nose commentary, this particular episode includes an incident where the writers take some shots at incels, but their failure to get the critiques right makes the whole affair seem cheap. Long story short, incels aren’t the kind of people who go out in public to protest. More often than not, they’re mentally ill shut-ins who gather on online forums to bitch and moan about how women just aren’t evolved enough to sleep with them or get into a relationship.
So now, let’s turn our attention to a subplot which tells us that women just aren’t evolved enough to sleep with a trans cast membe- er, I mean, a part of the crew of the 126.
You might be rolling your eyes into the back of your skull right now, dear reader, but it gets worse.
In the rest of the episode, we’re treated to a nonsensical meta-narrative involving Captain Strand (Rob Lowe) and the pressures of masculinity. For some reason, Strand’s doctors didn’t tell him that chemotherapy can cause fatigue and impotence, so he starts panicking when he can’t get it up after meeting some random SJW professor named Zoe (Natalie Zea).
Cue the bullshit writer’s statement about how masculinity doesn’t have to be performative and should be more expansive.
Never mind the fact that she originally thought that Owen was gay because he knew about lotion. Now that I think of it, what about the subplot where Grace (Sierra McClain) complains that she has needs whether Judd is up for it or not? How about that one call in “Act Of God” where the very same woman tells a girl to dump her boyfriend because he acted cowardly in the middle of a tornado? Isn’t there also a subplot that starts in “Friends Like These” where a fellow Captain (Billy Burke) exploits Owen’s openness about his cancer in an attempt to screw him out of his job?
But by the way, you shouldn’t bottle up your feelings because it can lead to all sorts of problems down the line!
Huh?
Conclusion.
These little moments of relative sanity don’t exactly cut it.
In an odd twist on its predecessor, 9-1-1: Lone Star is such a cavalcade of crap that I wonder how it even got made. Most of the characters are just there to tick boxes on a woke checklist, the writing is inconsistent at best, and any reasonably positive moments are completely outweighed by hyper-leftist moral messages that fall apart after five seconds of thought. If you take pleasure in suffering, dear reader, this show might just be the one for you!
The rest of us should probably stick with virtually anything else.
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