As you are no doubt aware, the teaser trailer for Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker is now online. Like many of you, I got swept up in the initial reaction, but there was just one problem. Every time I thought about what I saw, I had to ask another question about the disastrous arc of the Sequel Trilogy.
So, without further ado, it’s time to share them with all of you!
1. Why Is Rey Alone?
This particular mess can be traced back to Rey’s status as a Mary Sue, which may be the Sequel Trilogy’s biggest flaw. In The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, she beats down Kylo Ren, completely dodges temptation from the Dark Side, and engages in eye-rolling feats with no training or explanation whatsoever.
Okay, there’s an explanation. She supposedly downloaded Kylo Ren’s training during their steamy Force BDSM session in The Force Awakens.
If that’s the case, why is she basically alone in The Rise Of Skywalker? We know that a time jump has happened, but why hasn’t the Resistance bothered to look for Force-sensitive people, place them in front of Rey, and have her replicate the procedure? It’s the perfect way to generate an overwhelming advantage with little to no need for time, training, or equipment!
2. Fighters Are Not Obsolete Anymore For Reasons.
In the middle of the teaser, we can see the shadow of an A-Wing as it spirals out of control, even though The Last Jedi fundamentally changed the nature of warfare in this universe.
If we operate under the assumption that no one has ever weaponized hyperspace before, then there is no reason why the Resistance wouldn’t capitalize on Vice Admiral Poofyhair’s sudden maneuver. After all, why would they even need to send in a fighter squadron when they could just hyperspace ram the First Order? All they’d really need is a solid block, some engines, a compartment for a droid pilot, and a hyperdrive!
And don’t give me some expense-related argument. The Resistance discovered a weapon that is 100% lethal and impossible to stop… unless the First Order hyperspace rams them first.
3. Press S To Spit On Luke, Yoda, Obi-Wan, And Anakin. Again.
I know that Luke supposedly rediscovered his roots because Ma-Rey Sue convinced him to do so in The Last Jedi, but the lore-breaking holes in that movie should compel us to ask another question.
Why isn’t he helping?
Seriously, why isn’t he along for the ride? In The Last Jedi, we learned that Force Ghosts can interact with the physical world as if they were alive. Therefore, it should be easy for the Resistance to enlist Yoda, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Luke in the struggle to save the galaxy. If nothing else, they could decimate anyone who might pursue Poe, Finn, or Rose at no risk to themselves!
Nah. This is Rey’s fight now. Luke and the gang can just sleep it off in their ghost beds, even though their negligence and cowardice gave rise to this mess.
4. Who Is Supposed To Be The Villain?
If there’s one thing that everyone is talking about, it has to be the sudden re-appearance of Sheev. I know that I got swept up in the moment as the Emperor cackled like a maniac and Ian McDiarmid took the stage on the Star Wars: Celebration livestream. However, I soon came to the realization that J.J. Abrams can’t put him into the finished movie without causing serious problems.
Think about every possible out for a second, dear reader.
- If he’s still alive, Luke and Anakin are complete and utter failures.
- A Dark Force Ghost would destroy the idea that Dark Siders must prolong their mortal lives because they can’t ascend like a Jedi can.
- An appearance via a holocron or a vision would be fan service or a pointless mystery box.
Let’s take things one step further by asking another question: Why would Ma-Rey Sue be intimidated by the most fearsome Sith Lord in the history of the galaxy? She’s beaten Kylo Ren, Snoke is dead, and TIE Fighters are no match for her ovary-infused plot hole powers. At this point, she could probably defeat a reborn Emperor and Kylo Ren with one arm tied behind her back!
Conclusion.
Above all else, I think it’s important to think critically about the stories that we see, read, and hear. I’m not going to deny the possibility that The Rise of Skywalker might be a good movie, but it’s extremely hard to believe in such things because of all that we know. Lucasfilm didn’t have a plan, the writers put themselves in a corner, and no one seemed to catch the Super Star Destroyer-sized story holes before release.
Fans and casual moviegoers deserve better. After all, why should they care if the producers don’t?
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